There she was, her hand extended in a mocking show of help, sneering at every possible attempt I made to reach for the tip of her fingers. Water trespassing its way to my brain, numbing the desperate lunges I made to avoid the inevitable. The apt way to say goodbye!
I realized the futility of my efforts in the icy cold death in her eyes, which were savoring the moments of life slipping away from my grasp. Funny! Funny how I managed to smile as the rebel inside me saluted in victory! Thinking about everything that we were, together and apart, like a row to a boat and the wind to the sails. I knew how it felt when two souls lay, interwined, coalesced, completing the unity of the universe in two breathing lovers.
And now when she took life off my body, like skin torn off the soul. How? How could someone in whom you’ve breathed love and for whom you’ve lay bare every emotion the real and the surreal world would allow for, stand there like someone who never felt, like someone who happened to pass by a freakish accident, and then silently walked off. Amidst the roaring of the waters and the deafness of my ears, I could hear her say, “It never was!” The dreams, the promises, the echoes of her voice when I woke up in the morning, her kisses which I felt over the phone, those moments when I looked at her, wonderstruck, not at her, but at myself, for loving her more than I was capable of. It never was!
The apt way to say goodbye to something built and dipped in the blood of the heart, moment after moment, day after day, from dawn to dusk, and then see it crash to nothingness. Like a beautiful sculpture made to be razed. I made a final grasp and caught her hand, just for a second, making her mine. But then I let go, of her and of everything she was.
I sink and drown but with a smile because after losing everything to her, she finally knew who’d won!
